1. Cry – a lot. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions.
2. Tell people about what has happened to you. Don’t bury your thoughts & feelings.
3. Write about your heartbreak – it may help you put it into perspective – keep a diary.
4. Focus on what excites you for the future & what makes you feel good again.
5. Take on a project that ignites your passion – writing, starting an online internet business, reading anything from serious literature to nonsense & fluff, do an online personal development course, take up a craft you’ve always wanted to do – but do something. Sing, dance, act! Concentrate on you.
6. Nurture yourself – baths, meditation, massage, pampering – be selfish for a time.
7. Take some time to put yourself back together again – diet, exercise, beauty treatments, change the colour of your eyes (contact lenses are fantastic these days), your hair – be yourself but have a bit of fun doing something different that makes you look & feel brilliant.
8. Get together with your closest friends – let them help you. Laugh with them, be a friend & they will reciprocate. They will give you love & support. Don’t be afraid to draw on the strength of family as well. Never forget your family. Especially your Mum – she’ll love you no matter what.
9. Remember that you are fabulous & unique & that your ex partner’s betrayal DOES NOT mean you are less worthy – you ARE going to be stronger & better. It’s their loss. Don’t over analyse all the whatifs. It doesn’t achieve anything, only makes things harder.
10. If all else fails get a dart board – put his/her picture on it & practice until you score a bullseye. Great stress release. So is their photo on a punching bag – then you can beat the metaphorical crap out of them…
Sorry about the last one but you have to maintain a sense of humour above all else – can be very very hard at times – but I have discovered you can laugh while you are crying, in the right company…
I’ve cried & laughed on the shoulders of really good friends. Gotten a little drunk, a little maudlin & very teary. You begin the process of healing after heartbreak firstly by breathing, one breath at a time one day at a time. Just one breath in front of another, slowly & painfully, but surely, until you see the light at the end of the tunnel. The light does get closer and it will ache badly along the way. No one prepares you for this. Nothing in life seems to come close to the devastation that heartbreak causes to your psyche. But you will re-emerge stronger & better than before - you have to - for the sake of family & friends who love you. For your own sake because you are unique & wonderful & no-one has the right to take that away from you. Don’t let yourself be held to emotional ransom - learn from the pain, stand up on your own & shine again. Pick yourself up piece by piece & empower yourself to not only recover but discover purpose, drive & a better future.
I've done this for myself in the last few months & what I’ve learned has helped me beyond belief. It’s a new future. One that promises healing as well as helping others do the same. You are not alone in your heartbreak. Unfortunately it is all too common & so painful. You think you are alone & in some ways only you can process the pain within yourself but you don’t have to do it alone - ask for help.
Empowering yourself is incredibly beneficial. Reading, learning, motivation with the aid of online studies, DVD study courses you can do at home, e-books, articles, reading stories of others' heartbreak to realize you are not alone - that support is close by in the form of education, finding your inner passion & going for it. Loved ones to help steer you through the shadows & out into the light of day. Listen to music - lots of it - some songs will help you cry (try listening to My Chemical Romance’s “I Don’t Love You” without crying your eyes out), others to draw strength from (R. Kelly’s “The World’s Greatest” & Tina Arena’s “Now I Can Dance” come to mind) & more to lift you up, succeed & experience joy (most of Mika’s infectious songs are really good here like, “Grace Kelly or “Love Today” ).
Follow your hearts' desires when it comes to what excites you. Learn to love yourself again & one day you will attract a partner who won't abandon you when times get tough - he or she will stand by you & you’ll love again. I know I will too - just not now - more growing & learning to do. More people to learn from & hopefully inspire as well.
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